| i question this so called love he says he feels towards me |
[13 Apr 2007|06:09pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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hill hannah - lips like morphine |
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its not his fault. its all mine really. i dont know what he means when he says he loves me, love has so many levels i dont know which one hes referring to. when i tell him i love him i mean it the pureset form. i love him. i am in love with. i would do everything for him. for this man i will give my life. for this man i feel i already have and i have no regrets towards it. i only wonder will he do the same for me. when he takes in into his arms i feel so fucken special just enjoying his warmness, appreciating his scent, my skin curling as his soft lips gently touch my face. haha i neglect in telling him about the first time we were together, in a failed effort to bite his nose i chipped one of my front teeth i cant see it, but i can feel it, heheh just like how it is i dont get to see him but i feel him. i feel, i feel his thoughts intertwine with mine, i sometimes feel him touch other bodies and it just drives me to tears. that is why i question, what is love to him. dont know if i wanna know.
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(*MY LIFE*)
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| interior designer vs. interior decorator |
[06 Apr 2007|04:35pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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is there a differance?? hell yes!! and i will tell you what.
a interior designer goes to school and leans not just color picking. they go to school and resurch building codes to make sure people have a space that not only looks great but is safe. an interior designer must resurch architecual styles. they must resurch funiture and know its history. interior designes must know how to type out spec sheets. because interior design is 80% paper work 20% design.
a interior decorator makes things pretty that is all. no science to it. and it really makes me upset when call them selfs designers.. grrrrrrrr
i may try out for one of those shows when i come closer to finishing up school. both designer finals and top design. haha.
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(*MY LIFE*)
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| meanings = shit |
[25 Mar 2007|12:09am] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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music |
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princess superstar -im perfect |
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i dont feel i have to give meaning to everything i do to justify my actions. if i do something it is because i want to not cus deep emotional reason. "but what does it mean ?" ugh** i means your life lacks meaning so you make up meanings for the dumbest of things. emo fool go on be pridictable paint a canvas blue. stop trying to analize me because you will never succed, cut your wrist and watch your self bleed.
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(*MY LIFE*)
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| ugh, shitty week!! |
[16 Feb 2007|03:31pm] |
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mood |
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optimistic |
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i have ben having the most horrible week monday i forget my home work tue i walk to work in the snow come to find out i was off wed wasnt to bad, thursday i get sent to collections and my eye gets all red looks gross as a result today friday i dont wear 1 contact so am at school i cant see shit i was doing my presentation board and its all not straight ..... grrr .. the only reason why im here typing is cus i walked outside in time to see the bus go by .. ahg..
not realing to me , my mom will get the tumor removed tue, i know evereytrhing will go fine
yay.
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(*MY LIFE*)
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| only trendy bulimic SCENE fags listen to electro |
[12 Jan 2007|08:32am] |
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mood |
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 artistic |
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music |
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tourniquet - marilyn manson |
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that is why i cant find electro club un denver haha shit , people here are so late for everything aleast a year and a half ..
in other news today is the start of a new term , boooo !! lol. i am some what excited , last term i did so well. let see what happens.
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(*MY LIFE*)
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| my recent trip to to l.a. |
[31 Oct 2006|06:17pm] |
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mood |
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 crazy |
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happy halloween !!
it felt great being in my kingdom.. i am really thankful deadlee drastiko cruz and chuey put up with me at their place ,, kisses loves ,, i am happy i got to see some of my friends , who knows what happen to the rest . tho i know died from overdoses uhm i had so much fun
kiss kiss kiss
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(*MY LIFE*)
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| so called friends |
[16 Oct 2006|12:16pm] |
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mood |
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bitchy |
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i really believe some of my so called friends who i have known for years do not want to see me on my trip back home, assholes. ive know a lot these people since i was a kid shit strangers are more excited to see me!! well the few people i do see are my faves tho. anyway il have fun with out you bitches.
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(1 *ruined* | *MY LIFE*)
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[11 Oct 2006|12:47pm] |
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so im heading to l.a. a week from tommorow . im excited and nervous many people wanna see me many dont . cant wait ti see what happends, im nervous bout the flight , i alredt dreampt i lost my luggage and the plane crashed into the sea strange since no kind of sea is located from denver to l.a.
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(*MY LIFE*)
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| i appologize |
[16 Aug 2006|12:43pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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megan mccouley-die for you |
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for all the nasty and mean things i said. i will never do it again. i jumped to a conclusion without any facts at all... you may have changed but your are still the nice person. you have been blessed with a voice that makes everyone puts their differences aside. for this you career will go far. i miss you and your sweet mother, shes awesome too. i cant wait for your album doll dont forget me when you famous.
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(*MY LIFE*)
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| hollywood smiles |
[14 Aug 2006|12:53pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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deadlee-nasty |
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last night the thunder growled over denver giving us blinding flashes of light similar to the one in photo shoots. my family has been gone for a week i have 2 more to go before they come back. i dont plan to throw crazy partys or any thing like that, but i glad my good friend jason price and molly windham came by with their band the punknecks. it was surreal to then in a different setting other than hollywood. i was so happy. they are arrived at my house last sunday morning in a giant blue bus full of tatted up Mohawk rednecks a the cutest dog lola. jason price at my house. it was funny to see him without flash behind him. after the hugs and showers we went to a mexican restaurant where eyes followed us in our street couture making me feel like i was in l.a. again. after that they need some weed so we all went to the aurora jamaican fair haha they got weed. people took our picture while we admired awesome art by local artist. some pretty neat stuff by the way. we returned home to wash up for the show they had later on at cricket on the hill in denver. i looked cute that day. not to diss the other acts but the punkneck tow it up!! also this guy rob something with a fro was kick ass even tho it was one song he was so hot too! then the galactic somethings fuck i was not paying attention, a rap group. they was coo ass fucks. they took up to their place after where them and the punknecks made a new genre, urban blue grass haha we partyed all night ate chicken. haha . ima post pix fuck i partyed hollywood style in denver.
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(1 *ruined* | *MY LIFE*)
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| my toung are razors and teeth are bullets |
[31 Jul 2006|07:27pm] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
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music |
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tre lux |
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your pretty face cant mask your ugly heart from me. everyone else is stupid for calling you a messiah. why? you havent done anything bit convince mind less sheep clones that your fabulous with the help of the fuckin internet. whore. anyone could have a piece of you, your shit is on ebay for the lame to bid. ehg! i am even mad at my self for wasteting so much promoting hate towards you. you user you use people till you drain em.. what happed to miss. b? you tossed her cus you didnt need her. fuckin 8 foot tall clown. why do you get away with treating people horrible and them still loving you? cus they dumb asses never met you. you stupid twat. promoting what you dont have, what makes you think i want cunt i dont have a need for.
fuck you disciples and you.
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(2 *ruined* | *MY LIFE*)
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| fame has changed you |
[22 Jul 2006|07:28pm] |
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mood |
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bitchy |
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music |
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switchbalde symphony-dollhouse |
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i was your friend when you was fat and ugly i didnt fucken
care you know how i feel about image. i didnt even care you got a
fuckin record deal, same one as as creed and amy lee (booo)..
after a brief absence you reappeared in chanel shades and dior
stilettos heels, kinda stupid when you clam your music to be
goth..its just emo pop. every thing was different even the way
you spoke and walked. i didnt fuckin care i considered you a
friend , i defended you on all those sites.. even tho you slowly
began to push me away.. you have more haters than fans and your
fuckin album isnt even out yet.. whats it been 2 years?? i am
finally admitting to my self you have become a snotty brat what to
xpect from a minor. i believed you to be real but your anti
depressants have made you delusional and ubber anal. the once
natural red head is now blond she has deleted me from her life
and her myspace account.. i never thought of you being this way
good luck you fuckin dont need me any way.
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(2 *ruined* | *MY LIFE*)
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| hollywood |
[22 Jul 2006|06:51pm] |
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mood |
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 emo |
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music |
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cassie- flyleaf |
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where everyone waves to me when i walk down the street bow down and kiss my feet they tell me that they love me xsept the scarbucks cunt who hates me(your lies lead to my demise), oh then the bitch tattoo artist who hate me cus that 8 foot tall blond thing told them to(fuck you zoe ken jonas and your famous friend).. mindless clones . i dont feel pitty for your paintings getting stabbed with ball point pens.
i was hated.. no need to lie i just cry i cant comply with the need to go back to place where i repeatedly stabbed in the back with rusted dildos that that read rain.
i stood out for being plain most people didnt even take the time to talk to to me(you were my friend when you was ugly bitch).. the ones who did just wanted to fuck me(eric you are by far the most horrible person i have encountered).. guess what they is true..
misery loves company
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(3 *ruined* | *MY LIFE*)
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| vanity vanity vanity |
[31 Mar 2006|12:49pm] |
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mood |
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bitchy |
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music |
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im on my rag... |
] |
doesnt matter how rich or how thin, beauty comes from within. it wont make a difference if own all the pretty clothes in gq and vouge, the cute shoes that hurt your toes if your idea of taking pride in your body is to vomit after meals in gorgouse john galliano heels...
...stupid cunt!...
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(*MY LIFE*)
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[15 Mar 2006|12:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crappy |
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music |
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him, your sweet 666 |
] |
fuck it stinks like feet!!!
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(*MY LIFE*)
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